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01/22/2004 Entry: "Wow...again..."

Well...the new year is more exciting than I could expect. It just reminds me how much I really like my friends. Dan, Christine, Amy, Mike and everyone else make every day a bit more enjoyable.

Life is funny...if someone really upsets you some how...you learn to get over it. Things that they do in attempt to bother you even seem rather comical after a while because they have completely lost their effect. I read the most ironic thing tonight....

"HEY__YOU WUSSY LITTLE CRY BABY FAGGIT!!! IF YOU GOT BEEF WITH ME YOU TALK TO ME NOT OTHERS LIKE THE FUCKIN COWARD YOU ARE!!! NO WONDER NOBODY LIEKS YOUR SAD QUEER ASS!!!"

A name of a friend of mine was in the blank...is in the yahoo profile of a rather interesting person who thinks I'm out to get him, I guess. That person has done everything he could to get to me...and for a while it worked. For a while, I even played the stupid games right along with him. The first time I read something like this...it really made me mad and I gave in and against my better judgement I sent the author of the statement a message.

That whole message is rather ironic to me because the author is less comfortable with his own sexuality, not very willing to actually confront someone about anything, and loses friends faster than anyone else I've ever known. On the other hand the person the statement was directed to is very comfortable with his sexuality, very willing to talk to anyone who he is upset with or is upset with him, and has more friends that I could ever dream of having. That is a reminder to me to take a look at myself before tearing apart someone else's life. Sometimes you are the person you despise the most.

I guess in a very big way that I'm giving the author of the statement above what he wants. He wants an audience, proof that he's still cared about in some way. I know like laughing at him...a lot. That isnt a good thing and I know he is feeding on it, and if he is reading this now he's probably enjoying that it seems like I still care in some way. If I back away and stop laughing or caring at all...there will be no more need to abuse anyone.

*Poof*

Problem solved.

Thanks, friends.

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